almost time for a press release

I'm working on the copy now. But I just had a little realization -- and that's how God orchestrates our lives even when we don't recongize it. So even when you're not sure how today's moments fit into His grander plan, stay tuned -- the revelation is yet to come.

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yoga and a boyfriend

There have been a number of times in the past (almost) three months that I've wanted to post, but who has the time! It's been kind of funny to me that my last entry was on the night that I got EIC. See, one thing I left out of the story was something that Aaron said to me during the "handshaking and congratulations" part of the story. Aaron shook my hand and said, "I'm sure a lot of questions are racing through your mind already about things you need to know. Don't worry about any of it tonight. Go out and celebrate this evening ... because it will be your last free night for awhile!" I laughed, and he looked me straight in the eye and said "No. Seriously."

Clearly, I wrote off his assertion with no problem. After all, it didn't even make it into my recount of the evening! But I've always assumed that my understanding of being "busy" and other people's just don't match up. I've always balanced at least two "major" commitments, exclusive of school. In high school it was band, choir and praise team. In college it was BRH, Tridelt and, for three semesters, two jobs. So naturally I think that the way I balance things and the way others balance things are just different. I don't necessarily think it's good to have to prioritize as much as I've had to, but I feel like I'm a pro at juggling multiple obligations all at once.

Oh, what naivete I once had. I have been busier in the past (nearly) three months of my life than I have ever known before. I have read and discussed more legal scholarship than I ever thought possible. I have stressed over more small decisions that feel like HUGE decisions more times than ever could count.

And yet I still feel so blessed.

It's been a whirlwind of a semester. As indicated by the fact that I didn't even get online to inform the world when my finals were or update on my super wonderful trip to Kansas over my birthday. But within that whirlwind, I have found a multitude of blessings that I never expected. New friends with interesting personalities and a lot of laughter. A week of birthday wishes. And a sort of comraderie that can't be manufactured.

I'm looking forward to what this next year will bring. I know there will be moments of trial and tribulation, but I've got a good team in my corner. So bring it on.

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one more question

Okay, so it's nearly 1:30 a.m., but I can't go to sleep. I have a lot of thoughts racing through my head, and since this is intended to be as much as a journal for me as it is intended for anyone else, I thought I'd tell a story that I don't want to forget ...

At 8:13 p.m., I received a phone call from Aaron Garrett, the current editor-in-chief of the law review. Having wrapped up a week long interview process for editorial board positions more than 4 hours before, I was lounging comfortably but was excited to see a call from an unknown number. And then I heard those dreaded words: "We have a few more questions for you. How quickly can you get to the law school?"

My mind went to work. 15 minute drive. Changing back into hose/suit/heels. "Twenty minutes?" "Okay, just get here as fast as you can."

I pulled on my grown-up clothes, hoping that my face didn't have any "sheet marks" from the nap I had taken earlier in the afternoon, and I ran out the door. On my way to the law school (driving a cautious 3-5 mph over the speed limit the entire way), I wondered if this was a set-up or if I was about to face a barrage of questions that would forever determine my editorial fate. I pulled into the parking lot, entered the law school lobby and heard the sound of boisterous conversation coming from the direction of the faculty room.

Hurrying into the room, I was greeted by comments of "thanks for coming back," to which I hastily responded that it was not a problem. I was cold (I failed to mention that it had showered a "wintry mix" on my way to the earlier interview), and I was nervous about what this final interview might bring.

Then Aaron said, "We have one last question for you ..."

At this point I knew what was coming next, but I waited for what I was certain would follow ... and sure enough it did. "We have selected you as Editor-in-Chief. Will you accept?"

It was kind of overwhelming to react in front of the entire past year's editorial board, and I didn't see many of their faces, but the excitement was there. And after many congratulations and thanks showered around, I was on my way back to my house, to make my phone calls and celebrate the night away.

So how does this editor-in-chief-elect celebrate this sort of an honor? Go see a late night chick flick, of course! I convinced (though it didn't take much arm twisting) my wonderful roommate Sara to come along and we frittered away our evening with "He's Just Not That Into You." And now here I sit, trying to shut my mind off for the evening because my alarm will go off all too soon.

I'm overwhelmed and humbled. I'm nervous and excited. And I am so honored to be selected by my peers. I hope that I can live up to all of their expectations.

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thirty seconds or less

Okay, so I've got a sufficiently voluminous to-do list and, much as I'd love to wile away an hour writing an interesting and witty post for the blog, I've procrastinated enough lately. So I'm going to attempt to give you an update on my life in 30 seconds or less. Ready, set, GO!

• Spong came, Spong went, met judges, wore heels, feet sore, Krysta tired.
• Ed board interviews (5), decision Sunday, hope they make good choices
• Met Sandra Day O'Connor, meeting Paul Clement
• L and I both gave each other $15 iTunes gift cards for VDay
• good visit in Norfolk with Sarah; cute keychains
• Sing nostalgia
• tournament brief due soon!

Okay, that was more like one minute, but I won't tell if you don't!

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if everyone else jumped off a bridge ...

... apparently I would do it too. Because, as silly as facebook can be sometimes, it really has been fun to learn things about other people. Furthermore, it's caused me to contemplate my answers to the questions. So without further ado, here are my 25 things:

1. I absolutely LOVE to get all dressed up. I think there's something so energizing about having the right outfit for the right occasion and really feeling like you're putting the best version of yourself out there. I have neither the time nor the wardrobe to accomplish this feat everyday, but I sure do feel better when I do!

2. Sometimes I wish I could hop on a plane, fly to Mongolia and leave it all behind. I love America and the opportunities and education that come with it, but I wouldn't be shocked if I lived in a 2nd or 3rd world country for awhile, even if it was just for a sabbatical.

3. My sister is my best friend, and most of my favorite memories include my family. When I get married, much as I'll love my bridesmaids, all that I want to do the night before the wedding is hang out with my family and watch a movie.

4. I generally am more productive when I'm busy, but I always yearn to have more free time. Of course, when I actually have free time, I get bored.

5. One of my biggest goals is to become a runner. And what I mean by "a runner" is one who doesn't do it for better health or to meet some sort of goal but just because of the pleasure and contentment she gets out of running. I'm definitely not there yet.

6. I eat food in order of preference, from least favorite to most favorite. Only if I can't decide between two dishes will I alternate back and forth. So if you ever have me over to dinner, I guess you'll know what I liked best!

7. The volume always has to be on an even number. It really bothers me if the best level is odd -- but ultimately I'll just pick the one below or above.

8. I've been to something like 37 states (I'm too tired to count them all now). I've also been to 4 continents. My dad is going to catch up with me on continents this summer, so I'm working on a way to get to Africa or South America : )

9. I'm not a big sports fan (and even that may be an understatement), but I wouldn't be surprised if I married a coach. If not a coach, then I suspect I'll marry someone in the ministry. Of course, I could be wrong on both counts.

10. I temporarily played the bassoon. In reality, I had it at my house and messed around with it occasionally. I never had time to take lessons (since I already was playing flute with the band), so I turned it back in to the school.

11. If I'm wearing a rubberband in my hair, it has to either match my outfit or be neutral (brown or black, depending on the outfit).

12. I make to-do lists and schedule out my life constantly, but rarely do I actually refer to these lists and schedules. It just helps me think through my commitments and plan ahead.

13. I prefer my right to my left. Blame my parents.

14. I get caught up in musicals, opera, ballet, etc. A really good show actually leaves me a little sad when it's over and I have to disengage from the alternate reality it created.

15. I like having only one sibling because we each have our own unique relationships with our parents. But I also wish I were part of a big family. We'll see how that plays out if and when I have kids.

16. I edit my text messages, emails and facebook posts for correct grammar and spelling. I'll actually delete and repost a message on facebook if there's an error.

17. I feel like you could categorize my life by what church I was a member of at the time. That would explain a lot.

18. I used to say that I wanted to live in Rhode Island. I'm not sure where I'll end up now, but I don't think that Rhode Island is it.

19. I love flying, but I also have a slight fear of heights. It doesn't affect me in an airplane, but you won't see me getting too close to a guardrail on the Eiffel Tower or a skyscraper balcony.

20. I miss my grandfather a lot. I don't think about it very often, but when I do I am reminded of what an amazing man he was. I hope that my life makes him proud.

21. I'm absolutely cursed when it comes to technology. In fact, I'm writing this on a school computer because my laptop is in the shop.

22. If you gave me a list of numbers, I could rank them in order of preference.

23. I have had exactly one sip of champagne and one sip of wine. I greatly disliked both, so I'm pretty sure I'll have chilled Dr. Pepper on my honeymoon : )

24. I used to write songs a lot. I haven't written one in a long time -- maybe it's time to.

25. I have big dreams, big plans, big fears and big hopes, but I enjoy the little things in life -- Sunday afternoons with nothing to do, drives with the beauty of fall all around me, breakfast out with my mom, phone calls with friends. My biggest regrets have to do with little things I missed and my fondest memories are the little things I've experienced.

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with these words

Today, as I watched Obama hiccup through his oath of office (even with my political inclinations, I must admit that it really wasn't his fault), I was struck by the power of words. It's not a novel realization -- scholars have written about it, academics have discussed it and everyone has participated in it. But to someone who has experienced some of her most poignant moments due to the impact of spoken language, it was a reflective moment nonetheless.

By saying 35 words, Barack Obama became the 44th President of the United States of America.

With 7 words ("I now pronounce you husband and wife"), two individuals become Mr. & Mrs.

The president of a university declares students with certain credentials to be graduates.

Servicemen swear an oath of enlistment.

A person becomes an American upon repeating the oath of allegiance.

"And God said, Let there be light: and there was light."


Behold, the power of the spoken word -- to change us, to create us, to redefine us.


Let us use our words, in this time, to build up rather than tear down. Even when I don't hear the words I want to hear, let mine bring unity rather than division. So that maybe - just maybe - we can speak the world we want into existence.

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turn up the music

I feel the need to preface this post by explaining that I have absolutely no idea who reads this blog. Okay, that's not completely true -- I know that my sister reads it occasionally-- but besides her, it could be an audience of many or none. It doesn't bother me, since it was never intended to attract a large crowd or garner followers galore, but sometimes I wish there was a way to reach certain people with this blog. People who to whom I want to say things but get tripped up in the execution. Maybe one of those people will stumble across it in the future and be able to hear what I wanted to communicate. And if not, hopefully I'll figure out another way.

As I'm sure is already very evident, this will be a more introspective post than some, but it's things that have been on my mind since New Year's. I haven't made any resolutions, although I'm sure that list is forthcoming. But I have been thinking on my life, on the places I've been and the people I've known, the person I am and the person I want to become. Isn't that what resolutions are intended to do anyway? They're supposed to make us pause when we've been caught up in the hectic race of life and think about what we've accomplished, what we desire, and why we're here. I don't know the origin of New Year's Resolutions (though I now intend to google or wikipedia it as soon as I'm done writing), but I truly believe that it could be biblical. And if it's not, I still believe that God can use the resolution-making process to speak to our hearts. I'm not talking about the perfunctory resolutions that we throw out when asked, like "be less grumpy in the mornings" or "lose 10 pounds." I'm talking about the ones that we craft through reflection on our highs and lows, our joys and disappointments, our failures and our accomplishments, our lusts and our desires. It requires sitting and considering what stirs our soul, what memories make us smile and what moments make us nostalgic. It is acknowledging our regrets and rejoicing in His blessings. It is identifying and cherishing the lives we've lived and the lives we want to live out.

You get the picture : )

So then, after we go through this revealing and sometimes painful examination of our spirits, we come up with a list. Sometimes this reflection manifests itself in ways that may seem "secular" on the surface, like the global resolution to lose weight in the New Year. But oftentimes that is the outpouring of a greater desire: having more energy to accomplish the ministry to which we are called, wishing to make our outward appearance reflect the fact that, internally, we are beautifully and wonderfully made, producing the "fruit" of self-control, etc. Often it's frustrating to see just how much more we want out of life. It's tempting to laugh off our Resolutions and wonder just how long it will take us to break every single one of them. Even more tempting is the feeling of the despair, urging us to shut off our desires altogether for fear of facing the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams. [If you know what I'm talking about, I encourage you to read Journey of Desire. It really spoke to me, and I hope that it will speak to you as well.]

There aren't very many specific moments in my life that I wish I could relive. But generally, I wish that I would have paused more often to draw it all in. I very much want to be better at creating memories. Not artificially, of course, but making myself available so that memories can be made. Too often I've allowed my to-do list or my stress level to get in the way of the moments in which life happens. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of wonderful memories and a lifetime of happiness already behind me. But I think I can highlight my two deepest desires that I have within me. Only one will I share now, because one is buried even deeper, and I'm not quite ready to bring it to the surface. This is the other one:

Wake up to the sunlight with your windows open
Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want, but want what you have
And don't spend your life looking back

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
You won't regret it, looking back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew, and it's not what you did
It's how you live.


A few of my live out loud moments, for which I'm eternally grateful:
~ chick flick marathons on the couch across the street
~ cookie dough and Chili's chips & salsa
~ "All I Want for Christmas Is You" in the back room of Campus Visits
~ King Children's Home concert at Jaguar Creek
~ Indianapolis 2005
~ late night truth or dare at every SOBC camp, mission trip and disciple now
~ Supper Club
~ Princess Party 2007
~ Hans Bronson's Gold Medal Mission, et al
~ Sonic in the sound booth and choir robe blankets in the pews

I wish the people involved in those memories could understand how much my life was shaped through those moments. And the list goes on. Hopefully it will only to continue to get longer ...

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