thirty seconds or less

Okay, so I've got a sufficiently voluminous to-do list and, much as I'd love to wile away an hour writing an interesting and witty post for the blog, I've procrastinated enough lately. So I'm going to attempt to give you an update on my life in 30 seconds or less. Ready, set, GO!

• Spong came, Spong went, met judges, wore heels, feet sore, Krysta tired.
• Ed board interviews (5), decision Sunday, hope they make good choices
• Met Sandra Day O'Connor, meeting Paul Clement
• L and I both gave each other $15 iTunes gift cards for VDay
• good visit in Norfolk with Sarah; cute keychains
• Sing nostalgia
• tournament brief due soon!

Okay, that was more like one minute, but I won't tell if you don't!

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if everyone else jumped off a bridge ...

... apparently I would do it too. Because, as silly as facebook can be sometimes, it really has been fun to learn things about other people. Furthermore, it's caused me to contemplate my answers to the questions. So without further ado, here are my 25 things:

1. I absolutely LOVE to get all dressed up. I think there's something so energizing about having the right outfit for the right occasion and really feeling like you're putting the best version of yourself out there. I have neither the time nor the wardrobe to accomplish this feat everyday, but I sure do feel better when I do!

2. Sometimes I wish I could hop on a plane, fly to Mongolia and leave it all behind. I love America and the opportunities and education that come with it, but I wouldn't be shocked if I lived in a 2nd or 3rd world country for awhile, even if it was just for a sabbatical.

3. My sister is my best friend, and most of my favorite memories include my family. When I get married, much as I'll love my bridesmaids, all that I want to do the night before the wedding is hang out with my family and watch a movie.

4. I generally am more productive when I'm busy, but I always yearn to have more free time. Of course, when I actually have free time, I get bored.

5. One of my biggest goals is to become a runner. And what I mean by "a runner" is one who doesn't do it for better health or to meet some sort of goal but just because of the pleasure and contentment she gets out of running. I'm definitely not there yet.

6. I eat food in order of preference, from least favorite to most favorite. Only if I can't decide between two dishes will I alternate back and forth. So if you ever have me over to dinner, I guess you'll know what I liked best!

7. The volume always has to be on an even number. It really bothers me if the best level is odd -- but ultimately I'll just pick the one below or above.

8. I've been to something like 37 states (I'm too tired to count them all now). I've also been to 4 continents. My dad is going to catch up with me on continents this summer, so I'm working on a way to get to Africa or South America : )

9. I'm not a big sports fan (and even that may be an understatement), but I wouldn't be surprised if I married a coach. If not a coach, then I suspect I'll marry someone in the ministry. Of course, I could be wrong on both counts.

10. I temporarily played the bassoon. In reality, I had it at my house and messed around with it occasionally. I never had time to take lessons (since I already was playing flute with the band), so I turned it back in to the school.

11. If I'm wearing a rubberband in my hair, it has to either match my outfit or be neutral (brown or black, depending on the outfit).

12. I make to-do lists and schedule out my life constantly, but rarely do I actually refer to these lists and schedules. It just helps me think through my commitments and plan ahead.

13. I prefer my right to my left. Blame my parents.

14. I get caught up in musicals, opera, ballet, etc. A really good show actually leaves me a little sad when it's over and I have to disengage from the alternate reality it created.

15. I like having only one sibling because we each have our own unique relationships with our parents. But I also wish I were part of a big family. We'll see how that plays out if and when I have kids.

16. I edit my text messages, emails and facebook posts for correct grammar and spelling. I'll actually delete and repost a message on facebook if there's an error.

17. I feel like you could categorize my life by what church I was a member of at the time. That would explain a lot.

18. I used to say that I wanted to live in Rhode Island. I'm not sure where I'll end up now, but I don't think that Rhode Island is it.

19. I love flying, but I also have a slight fear of heights. It doesn't affect me in an airplane, but you won't see me getting too close to a guardrail on the Eiffel Tower or a skyscraper balcony.

20. I miss my grandfather a lot. I don't think about it very often, but when I do I am reminded of what an amazing man he was. I hope that my life makes him proud.

21. I'm absolutely cursed when it comes to technology. In fact, I'm writing this on a school computer because my laptop is in the shop.

22. If you gave me a list of numbers, I could rank them in order of preference.

23. I have had exactly one sip of champagne and one sip of wine. I greatly disliked both, so I'm pretty sure I'll have chilled Dr. Pepper on my honeymoon : )

24. I used to write songs a lot. I haven't written one in a long time -- maybe it's time to.

25. I have big dreams, big plans, big fears and big hopes, but I enjoy the little things in life -- Sunday afternoons with nothing to do, drives with the beauty of fall all around me, breakfast out with my mom, phone calls with friends. My biggest regrets have to do with little things I missed and my fondest memories are the little things I've experienced.

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turn up the music

I feel the need to preface this post by explaining that I have absolutely no idea who reads this blog. Okay, that's not completely true -- I know that my sister reads it occasionally-- but besides her, it could be an audience of many or none. It doesn't bother me, since it was never intended to attract a large crowd or garner followers galore, but sometimes I wish there was a way to reach certain people with this blog. People who to whom I want to say things but get tripped up in the execution. Maybe one of those people will stumble across it in the future and be able to hear what I wanted to communicate. And if not, hopefully I'll figure out another way.

As I'm sure is already very evident, this will be a more introspective post than some, but it's things that have been on my mind since New Year's. I haven't made any resolutions, although I'm sure that list is forthcoming. But I have been thinking on my life, on the places I've been and the people I've known, the person I am and the person I want to become. Isn't that what resolutions are intended to do anyway? They're supposed to make us pause when we've been caught up in the hectic race of life and think about what we've accomplished, what we desire, and why we're here. I don't know the origin of New Year's Resolutions (though I now intend to google or wikipedia it as soon as I'm done writing), but I truly believe that it could be biblical. And if it's not, I still believe that God can use the resolution-making process to speak to our hearts. I'm not talking about the perfunctory resolutions that we throw out when asked, like "be less grumpy in the mornings" or "lose 10 pounds." I'm talking about the ones that we craft through reflection on our highs and lows, our joys and disappointments, our failures and our accomplishments, our lusts and our desires. It requires sitting and considering what stirs our soul, what memories make us smile and what moments make us nostalgic. It is acknowledging our regrets and rejoicing in His blessings. It is identifying and cherishing the lives we've lived and the lives we want to live out.

You get the picture : )

So then, after we go through this revealing and sometimes painful examination of our spirits, we come up with a list. Sometimes this reflection manifests itself in ways that may seem "secular" on the surface, like the global resolution to lose weight in the New Year. But oftentimes that is the outpouring of a greater desire: having more energy to accomplish the ministry to which we are called, wishing to make our outward appearance reflect the fact that, internally, we are beautifully and wonderfully made, producing the "fruit" of self-control, etc. Often it's frustrating to see just how much more we want out of life. It's tempting to laugh off our Resolutions and wonder just how long it will take us to break every single one of them. Even more tempting is the feeling of the despair, urging us to shut off our desires altogether for fear of facing the heartbreak of unfulfilled dreams. [If you know what I'm talking about, I encourage you to read Journey of Desire. It really spoke to me, and I hope that it will speak to you as well.]

There aren't very many specific moments in my life that I wish I could relive. But generally, I wish that I would have paused more often to draw it all in. I very much want to be better at creating memories. Not artificially, of course, but making myself available so that memories can be made. Too often I've allowed my to-do list or my stress level to get in the way of the moments in which life happens. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of wonderful memories and a lifetime of happiness already behind me. But I think I can highlight my two deepest desires that I have within me. Only one will I share now, because one is buried even deeper, and I'm not quite ready to bring it to the surface. This is the other one:

Wake up to the sunlight with your windows open
Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
Have what you want, but want what you have
And don't spend your life looking back

Turn up the music, turn it up loud
Take a few chances, let it all out
You won't regret it, looking back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew, and it's not what you did
It's how you live.


A few of my live out loud moments, for which I'm eternally grateful:
~ chick flick marathons on the couch across the street
~ cookie dough and Chili's chips & salsa
~ "All I Want for Christmas Is You" in the back room of Campus Visits
~ King Children's Home concert at Jaguar Creek
~ Indianapolis 2005
~ late night truth or dare at every SOBC camp, mission trip and disciple now
~ Supper Club
~ Princess Party 2007
~ Hans Bronson's Gold Medal Mission, et al
~ Sonic in the sound booth and choir robe blankets in the pews

I wish the people involved in those memories could understand how much my life was shaped through those moments. And the list goes on. Hopefully it will only to continue to get longer ...

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to-do list

Anyone who really knows me knows that I am an avid to-do list maker. We're talking multiple times throughout the day, making a list from scratch. It's generally pretty detailed. And there's nothing better than the thrill of checking something off my list -- it's cathartic and serves as a physical representation of accomplishment. But I digress.

Because my to-do list has been overwhelmingly long these days, I haven't gotten back to my most recent attempt at online journaling. I don't feel like I've necessarily deprived the world of any great insight, but that's not the point. This journal is for me and for anyone who cares enough about the mundane and not-so-mundane moments of my life that they care to read it. So go ahead and get comfortable, this is going to be a long post.

1. I am done with interviews!!! After 11 callback interviews, 10 plane flights, approximately 850 miles on my car, and a handful of awkward moments, I am done! I don't ever want to drive to the Richmond Airport again (I'm flying out of DCA for Homecoming, so I'll actually get my wish for that trip), I'm not wearing heels for at least a week, and my trusty "interview pantyhose" will not make another appearance until my Moot Court tournament next spring -- unless I decide to throw them away! I've met well over 100 attorneys - it's actually probably somewhere between 130 and 150 - and I've told the same stories about student speech, Mongolia, and working for a legislator over and over again. I've gotten nauseous from smiling too much (seriously, that's a story in-and-of itself, but I'll spare you) and I come home mentally and physically exhausted. I am so glad to be finished, and I don't even really care if there is something brilliant out there that I've missed. I have some offers pending, I'm waiting to hear back from others, and that is the universe from which I will make my decision. The end.

2. I am going to Homecoming!!! I can't remember when I booked my flight, but it is official. I will be listening to the angelic voices of the Baylor Religious Hour Choir once again. It will be exhausting and exhilarating all at once. There is nothing like the feeling you get with the chill of fall in the air, the glow of the campus (and the bonfire) at night, and the warmth of far-away friends who are close together again. It's perhaps my favorite weekend of the year.

3. I went to a Martin football game! I hadn't been back to my high school for a game since my freshman year at Baylor. As I was walking into the stands (feeling like somewhat of a novice since I'd never not come with the band before), I couldn't believe that it had been six seasons since I had directed on that field! It was such a big part of my high school experience, and becoming a drum major was probably what I considered to be my biggest accomplishment during that time of my life (even compared to NMS). It was so wonderful to be back in those stands, reminiscing about the joys and triumphs it brought, feeling the change in the weather and realizing that, although I wouldn't trade it for anything, I didn't feel like those were "the best days of my life" like so many others do. I'm so glad we went, and I hope my parents are too : )

4. I got to see Alli! There's not a lot to detail here because it mostly consisted of private conversations and the like. But my sweet friend was thoughtful enough to drive up to Dallas while I was in town interviewing. We went to lunch, enjoyed some time catching up face-to-face (which is so much better than over the phone) and she even took me to the airport. I was so blessed by her willingness to take that much time out of her busy, busy day to come see me (she's BRH president this year and has a lot on her plate). She is such a precious friend to me.

5. Fall is here! It should be no surprise that this would excite me because two of the paragraphs above have addressed fall weather. And at the risk of ripping off other people's blogs (and because you're probably already tired of reading) I won't go into an exhaustive list of why I absolutely love fall. But I'll list a few: Homecoming, my red pea coat, leaves changing (it actually happens here in VA), the smells, the beginning of Christmas and the crispness in the air. Only in fall can you be certain to drive with the windows down and radio up. It is a miracle season to me.

6. I am busy. I have a million and one things to accomplish today, and I have already exceeded my allotted "blog time," so I'll have to write about them later. But there it is, a recount of what I could tell you and allusions to the things I could not.

Until next time ...

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